Happy 25th... er, then again, maybe not. This entire blog might sound selfish, but I'm using the excuse, "it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to..." Just a reminder, this entry's really not aimed at anyone in particular. I'm just writing exactly how I feel.

I've got less than three hours left before I turn 25, and I should be out having the time of my life, but instead, it's just before 10 pm and I'm at home in my pyjamas. No, I'm not sick, it seems as though everyone forgot about me. I'm so angry and sad at the same time, I'm not sure if I should be crying, or if I should be punching holes in inatimate objects. I know it's Easter weekend, but it would have been great if at least one person said that they'd like to do something either this weekend, or that they'd like to postpone any B-day festivities to a later date... at least then I wouldn't have been left hanging. Right now, I feel like I'm the biggest loser in the entire world. I thought that maybe, just one year, I'd have a great birthday -- one that I'd always look back on fondly. I have yet to have one of those birthdays. Instead, I'll always remember my 25th as the year I realized exactly how alone I really am. As I'm writing this, I'm looking around my room and also realizing that part of my problem is my inner geekiness.... maybe it's poking its head out and taking over my "outer" self now. No one wants to be friends with the geek, it's just not cool. Wow, I thought I'd never experience a "life-crisis" of any kind -- turns out my quarter life crisis/lifelesson is the discovery that I really don't know what exactly true friendship and belonging really is. This is making me question the friendships I've had for years, and the new ones I think I've made... perhaps being an outsider is easier than all this crap I'm feeling.