While I'm usually pretty good with disappointments, seeing as I've been dealt my fair share thus far in life, today's disappointments really got me down. Like usual, I put all my hopes on one particular job posting, and thought I had a really decent chance for it... or at least an interview. I'd also applied for another job at the same time, although I wasn't as attracted to the position. Today, I check the postings, and my applications and note that the less desirable job said NO to an interview. I thought, alright, good - I don't have to waste my energy with that one... I just had to wait on the other posting. Less than 10 minutes pass, and I get my answer on the job I really wanted... a big, fat NO. To make things sting even more, as luck would have it, my classmate beside me, was one of the 3 chosen ones for the interviews. I managed not to get upset at my own circumstance, and I'm truly happy that they decided to interview her - she's totally competent, and she really wants the positon too.
While I wasn't really upset earlier in the day, the more time I've had to think about it, the more upset I'm actually feeling. (I know this is derived from my irrational fear of being stuck at the Depot for all eternity.) Although I know I'm being way too hard on myself by saying this, but being shut down twice within a span of a few minutes, makes me feel as though I'm never going to be quite good enough for any other job. It also doesn't make me want to put myself out there again, and potentially get slammed with another fury of "NOs"
Perhaps a good long bath, a bit of crying, to vent my frustration is the key to getting over this mental block I've now put in place.
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