Buyer's Regret?!?

Last weekend, I took my mom and Brandy to see the Phantom. I purchased the tickets back in December, and gave them as Christmas gifts. Really, it was kind of a selfish gift in a way, since I was buying a ticket for myself, no matter what. Needless to say, everyone enjoyed the performance.

However, during the performance, I found myself going off on a tangent of thought.... not really something I should've been doing during an artistic performance, but hey, it happens. I could see the orchestra clearly, from my seat, and focussed in on the flautists. At that moment, sheer and utter disappointment flooded over me - I so wanted to be down there, in the pit, playing my heart out for all to hear. I decided to let it go, and enjoy the performance, but that little voice has creeped back into my head.

It got me thinking about where I am now and what I'm doing, and it's a far cry from where I thought I'd be. I always thought that some day I'd have an artistic career, preferably in music. Instead, here I am, behind a desk all day long, processing payroll, and doing all the mundane tasks that HR Assistants get stuck doing, and it's sucking the life and creativity right out of me.

Even school didn't work out the way I thought it would. I graduated with an English degree, and then went on for my HRM Certificate. I always thought I'd graduate with a Music degree and then go on to be a music teacher, a performer, or a conductor... ah, such lofty aspirations I once had.

So I'm experiencing a sort of buyer's regret over how things have unfolded thus far. Arrrrgh! How expensive this regret is, too... Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I end up re-analyzing my situation and realizing it's not really where I want to be.